


The Vexatious Vixen

by Maurey



Category: Bleach
Genre: Author thinks they're funny, Fox!Ichigo, Gen, Ichigo is a bit of a troll, Kisune!Ichigo, M/M, So is future!(present?)Kisuke, Time Travel, crack taken much too seriously, kitsunegeddon, they're probably not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 05:16:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16056296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maurey/pseuds/Maurey
Summary: Ichigo travels back in time. He's a bit stuck. As a fox. Oh dear.





	The Vexatious Vixen

They had been staring at him for the past ten minutes, stock still and unblinking. Kisuke finally snapped out of his stupor when the small, strangely elegant-looking fox cleared its throat, swishing its **_tails_ ** in front of his face. “…kitsune-san, I… I do apologise, you realise this is quite a bit to take in, yes?”

The fox simply _rolled its eyes_ , as if a talking animal with human mannerisms wasn’t something of a marvel, even to those as immersed in the Gotei as both he and Yoruichi were. Yoruichi began training to use her reiatsu to transform herself into a cat shortly after they’d met, and she was approaching success.

However, as far as either of them knew —which was with a good degree of certainty, as both of them were part of the Onmitsukidō — Yoruichi was the first to pioneer into the subject matter. The idea of talking animals were a concept the both of them quickly dismissed, though, perhaps, it was a mistake to brush any possibility aside. It was also a point of both curiosity and concern that this talking kitsune had somehow made its way into their secret training caves that nobody else in the Gotei knew the existence of. More importantly, how weren’t their kidō barriers dis—

“ **_Kisuke-san, Yoruichi-san!_ ** ” - exclaimed the vaguely feminine, carefully articulated voice of the fox, fully snapping out of his spiralling thoughts. “Are you with me now?” - it continued, elegantly gesturing with a paw. “Good. It seems I underestimated how much future events must shape your unflappable natures, though understandable. Something like this would be nowhere close to the caliber of an event required to phase either of you,” it continued in a pleasant, conversational tone, closing Yoruichi’s mouth with a careful flick of its tail. “In any case, reminiscing aside, I should probably explain myself. Once again. Do please avoid getting lost in your thoughts of bafflement. I probably have an explanation for whatever may be plaguing you, and I _will_ answer whatever I am able. For one who loves his secrets, you handle not knowing things rather poorly, in my experience, Kisuke-san. Yoruichi-san… I believe it’s for both of our benefits for me to not comment on your… unique stances… on the subject matter.”

The fox paused, and gave Kisuke a moment to collect himself. He took it, blinking bemusedly, and shaking his head as he spared a moment to glance over at Yoruichi. He felt somewhat vindicated in the fact that he wasn’t the _only_ one completely taken out of his depth by the situation, his friend’s jaw still hanging slack as she shot the vulpine a sharp look.

“…hai, kitsune-san”, he answered for the both of them, giving Yoruichi another sidelong glance — whatever could the fox have meant by that last comment? Something to find out another day, he supposed.

“Yes, well… My name is Ichigo, and we aren’t actually certain yet as to whether I’m a kitsune, or a fox with an anomalous extra tail, as even future you has yet to find any evidence of the existence of Yōkai. I have been training to harness an animal form under Yoruichi-san, and have had success for some time now. I currently appear to have a dilemma wherein I appear to be stuck in this animal body for no reason I can discern, as well as the somewhat more alarming issue of my person being stuck some centuries in the past”.

Kisuke and Yoruichi froze once again, neither in a particularly comfortable position, their jaws hanging slack as they stared at the innocently speaking animal, yet again. They were unable to form a coherent thought, much less request the other to pause and let them process before continuing their explanation.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Ichigo sighed, rolling his eyes once again — it seemed he’d broken Kisuke and Yoruichi. Again. He’d not even been trying that time! At this rate, it’d be a very long time until he could get across his situation in a way the two alleged geniuses could process, much less get advice on a way to find his way back to the future.

Bored with the two buffoons seemingly processing what was going on, he idly scratched at the earthy floor of the cavern, sneezing when the dust tickled his nose. His eyes widened, ears perking up as he stared at the slowly fading ball of red edged black flame he’d seemingly produced on accident. Huh, that was new — perhaps the idea of him being a kitsune wasn’t _quite_ so ludicrous, after all.

 _Really not something to focus on right now, I should be keeping on topic,_ he nodded to himself, before turning his attention back to the two gawking Shinigami. _Oh for— I guess this’ll take them a while to process, too, huh. I swear to the gods, this would’ve gone so much more smoothly if either of them had bothered to warn me about this, and what would fucking_ **_happen._ ** _Though I suppose they couldn’t physically do anything to alter a past they’ve lived through, for worry that it might affect the space time— who am I kidding, this is Getaboushi and co, they just wanted to fuck with m— Speak of the devil, huh?_

Ichigo rose as he sensed a more familiar and **_comforting_ ** version of Kisuke’s signature on the edge of his senses, just far away enough for the past versions of both the man and Yoruichi to be unlikely to detect him. Ichigo rose to his paws and shook out his fur, vanishing in an orange blur not too different from the one he’d appeared in. He swore to get his petty revenge on his Kisuke. Eventually. Once he was done cuddling and grooming him, because fuck, it was very strange and unsettling to witness this naive, guileless, easily surprised version of Kisuke. He loved getting one over on his partner, loved managing to surprise and baffle him, but that, what he just lived though, made his fur bristle in all the wrong ways.

So yes. Cuddling, grooming, then not-so-petty revenge. He wouldn’t be **_too_ ** harsh, though. He knew Kisuke didn’t leave him hanging in the past as long as he did on purpose. Still, he was hardly so amused or forgiving about not being given warning, regardless of whether it was a potential impossibility.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Did… did that actually just happen, Yoruichi?” Kisuke questioned in a daze minutes later, an afterimage of the orange blur still imprinted in his vision. He felt strangely bereft now that the fox… Ichigo… was gone. Not only would he not get to learn more, but there was just something about him.

“…hell if I know. But hey, if it did, I guess all the time I’ve been spending with my experimentation seems like it’ll prove fruitful eventually,” Yoruichi responded in a surprisingly level, if ambivalently jealous, proud tone.

Kisuke firmly told himself he wouldn’t punch his best friend from recovering from this surreal encounter so quickly. For all he told himself not to obsess, and forget about what happened, he couldn’t help but keep an eye out for the strange two-tailed fox for decades to come, always double-taking in his subtle way when he saw a blur of orange from the corner of his eye.

**Author's Note:**

> Ichigo learned to change shape, as implied, from Yoruichi. He's been under her tutelage for a while, but, well, shit happens. This is Ichigo, so of course he gets both stuck in the past, AND in his fox shape. Everyone was surprised when Ichigo ended up as a two-tailed fox when he first managed to change successfully.
> 
> In regards to Ichigo's speech patterns, they are the way they are on purpose lmao. The idea was for Ichigo to use his animal form for infiltration type missions, so he went through a good bit of training with Yoruichi to change the way he spoke, so even if he WAS overheard talking as an animal, nobody would assume that Ichigo was the one speaking.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed owo/ I don't like how this turned out quite as much as my other UraIchi oneshot, but it was fun, nevertheless. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Many thanks to TheLastNero for the beta. Even though he hasn't read or seen Bleach :'D


End file.
